dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
