I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish i was in the wii world.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize