I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I died a long time ago.
I can text with my tongue
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
