not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
