This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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