so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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