TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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