I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
