Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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