Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
