your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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