Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
