at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
