You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Drunk is not a location!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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