I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Randomize
