i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
