Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
