Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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