My sheets look like a crime scene.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
