Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
