You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
