just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
