He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
