It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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