Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
