I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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