How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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