He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
