Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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