You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
