Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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