Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
