well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize