That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's shark week go big or go home
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
