WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
ugly people sure do ruin things
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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