the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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