Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
