He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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