I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
