I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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