well I can't set my house on fire every night
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
