ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Even my vagina gasped.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
