she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
