you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
