I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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