I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
