hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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