Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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