I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
