There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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