At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
