If that was your dad, he is hot
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
