Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
