4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
