I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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