Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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