Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
