i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
