I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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