he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
