direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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