My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize