who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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