I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
