I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
