Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
