i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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