I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
